The twins just got back from the 2012 Chicago Blues Festival and the Mississippi Juke Joint Stage was hot!! Mississippi artists turned up the heat and we just chilled with all of our friends….Homemade Jamz, Vasti Jackson, Johnny Rawls, Pat Brown, Eden Brents and the lists just goes on and on. We also worked at the Willie Dixon Blues Heaven Foundation booth and lots of our friends came to visit us. Mrs. Marie Dixion the widow of Willie Dixon was on hand every day of the festival telling the Chess Records story and how she lived the blues with Willie Dixon back in the day when Muddy Waters and Howlin Wolf use to eat in her kitchen almost every day before they broke into the big time Chicago blues scene.
Dear Twins: About ten years ago my wife died and I remarried a girl that I knew in the community about five years ago. The marriage has gone downhill almost from day one. My children have resented her and her children weren’t thrilled about me. We did work through the issues with our children and now they all seem to be fine with our marriage but I’m the one who is miserable now. You see she and I really have nothing in common. We don’t like any of the same activities and we don’t do anything together. Recently started going out to clubs and bars by myself. I can’t get her interested in doing anything that’s fun. I love to travel but she likes staying at home and talking to her family members and her grown children. I really feel as though she married me just for my money. She spends it like water and has now ideas about how to bring money in. She buys and does everything for her family financially. I haven’t put my foot down about the spending but the fact that she never wants to be seen out in public with me makes me feel like something is going on that is not good. Since I have been going to these bars I’ve been meeting some pretty interesting and aggressive women. I’ve tried to talk to my wife but she just puts me off and ignores me. Our sex life is nonexistent these days. So what should I do?
Answer: (Linda)It seems as though your marriage is in trouble and yes you need to talk to your wife and find out what is going on with her. Everything you said about her is not adding up. You can try talking to her but if that doesn’t work then you need to start thinking about your next move and what your options are at this point. I assume you all don’t have small children so that makes things easier when decisions have to be made.
Answer: (Brinda)Well sir this is not rocket science. You and a lot of men these days seem to be in relationships and or married to women that you have nothing in common with and for some reason ya’ll stay with these awful people and cry on the shoulders of your best friends. My advice is get out now. Why stay and be miserable. Life is too short and I for one don’t believe in staying with someone who makes me miserable. Sounds like you’re right she did marry you for your money and if you let her spend it like water then who do you think is getting used in the deal. You said that your children are grown so getting out of this marriage shouldn’t be too hard. You can try to talk to her but I think you and I both know the answer you’re going to get. Now let’s get serious, if she’s not having sex with you then who is she having sex with?
Send questions to questions@askthetwinsonline.com and or write to Ask The Twins POB 9221 Jackson, MS 39286.
Dear Twins: The holidays have come and gone for 2010 my question is what can I do? I want too make this a better new year for me? You see I spent last year waiting and being passed up by the men that came into my life last year. One says wait and be patient and the other wants to be friends. What can I do? The one that want me to wait for him to get other people out of his life and then he can focus on me. The other thinks we can just be friends and forget that we have been intimate. I met them at different times in the last year and spent a lot of time with both. Most of the time spent I enjoyed but it ended up with me alone at the end of the year. The one that wants to be friends I can let go of and be okay with that but the one that wants me to wait is much harder to just forget. He has more the qualities that a real woman wants but I don’t have time to wait on anyone. Should I forget him or should I give him the time he feels he needs?
Answer: (Linda) You didn’t say just how old you are when you asked your question but I suspect time is not on your side. Given that I say forget both these Jokers and get on with your life. No one in this life has time to wait. Life is too short to put your-self on a shelf and wait for some “Boy” to makeup his mind. Although I can tell you he doesn’t need any “Time” because the truth be told he has already made up his mind and You are not the chosen one. As for the other one that wants to be just friends I say “Cut the Mother off” and don’t have any contact because he has someone else he thinks he’s going too end up with too.
Answer: (Brinda) We all have hope and dreams where Love is concerned but there are people out here that think that people that are kind and loving are fools. You sound like someone that needs and slap in the face. I say that because you are living in a fantasy world if you think either of these men mean you any good. How can someone say “wait” when life is passing both of you by. I can tell from what you said that this one has your heart but he doesn’t know what to do with it. Now for the one that wants to be friends let him know you have enough friends and you don’t need anymore. Make you New Year more about You and leave them both in the past!!!
Send questions to questions@askthetwinsonline.com and or write to Ask The Twins POB 9221 Jackson, MS 39286.
Dear Twins:My wife of ten years and I have now been divorced for three years now and all of a sudden she wants me to take her back. I was the one who initiated the divorce because she was addicted to gambling and I got custody of the children because at the time she couldn’t control her habit. At first the judge allowed her to keep the children and I gave her the house and the one car we had at the time. I also paid my child support on time and I paid the house note for two years because our children graduated from high school two years after the divorce. I had a good job and I wanted to take care of my children so I was never late on making my payments to her. Now it’s been a year without her having the house note paid she called me and asked if we could get back together because she still loves me. I found out that she is still gambling and the house note is behind and that she is going to be foreclosed on soon. I have started a new life and I have a lady that I see but it’s nothing serious. I’m a little gun shy now of committed relationships. I feel sorry for my ex-wife and I do still love her after all she is the mother of my children. I don’t know what to do. I feel guilt because I always took care of everything for her when we were married and when I got the divorce she really was lost as to taking care of business matters. I’m sort of stuck now because of my feelings for my wife. I really don’t know what to do. Can ya’ll help me figure this mess out?
Answer: (Linda)Well we all need second chances sometimes and if you still have feelings for your wife then you make need to explore those feelings. I just know that all of the blame for a divorce is never just placed on one party. However, gambling is a serious problem and it is a problem that is causing people to break up homes throughout the country. I would suggest that you spend some time with her and find out if gambling is still the cause of her financial woes. She may have just felt on hard times especially if she never had any responsibility for handling the money in your household it could be a situation of just mishandling or mismanagement of her finance.
Answer: (Brinda) I never heard you say she has gotten any help for her addiction, therefore, I think that you need to go on with the new life you have developed for yourself. If she is still gambling then you already know what the problem is with her house note. Gambling is such a parasite to anyone who is in the least bit weak. It’s hard to kick the gambling habit because it’s so easy to conceal and you usually don’t know there is a problem until something like foreclosure happens and or the person abruptly is out on the street or they just suddenly move out of a nice house for no apparent reason. I know I have family members and friends who are addicted to gambling but they don’t see that there is a problem because they haven’t lost any material things yet. A lot of people I know go and get second jobs to support their gambling habit so they are really convinced that there isn’t a problem because they see themselves as taking care of a recreational thing they do for fun. I know people need second chances but sometimes they need to get their second chance from a distance.